Some of us are so passionate about India that it’s started taking over our lives. We shake our heads in peculiar ways, our larders are full of exquisite spices and our haggling skills are second to none. If you can empathise with the following ten signs, then you may well be addicted to India, too.
OK, maybe kissing a camel is taking things too far.
10. Oh, Shantaram
9. The chai sigh
When you spot chai on a cafe’s menu, you start salivating. Ah, the memories of chai wallahs singing “Chai chai coffee coffee” on the train and their super-sweet, super-cheap tea. Your smile turns to a frown when you realise the cafe’s chai, which costs approximately 20 times more, won’t be anywhere near as tasty.
8. Time for Stein
You regularly watch YouTube clips of Rick Stein’s India – in which the seafood aficionado goes in search of the perfect curry – because, well, it’s the best on-location cooking show that’s ever been made.
7. Nice rack
Perhaps inspired by Mr Stein, your spice rack resembles a Chandni Chowk spice market.
6. Is that a yes?
If feels perfectly natural to shake your head from side to side when you agree with the person you’re talking to.
5. You’re such a cliché
At some point in recent history, your Facebook profile picture has featured you posing in front of the Taj Mahal, riding an elephant in Rajasthan, lying on a beach in Goa or cruising Kerala’s backwaters.
4. Double entendre
‘Lassi’ means delicious yoghurt-based drink, not fictional female dog. Oh, and ladies’ fingers are found are found on dinner plates, not the end of women’s hands.
3. Something in the water
When you brush your teeth in the morning, you instinctively reach – in vain – for the bottled water.
2. After this, one more only
You take every available opportunity to use ‘only’ at the end of the sentence, which thus ends this particular one only.
1. Very good price
Whether you’re buying a new TV, a pair of jeans or a pint of milk, you instinctively want to haggle.